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Navigating Divorce Calmly
A complete guide to understanding the procedures, child custody, division of assets, and financing solutions. Get all the necessary information to go through this life stage with clarity and confidence.
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Understanding Divorce: A Life Stage to Anticipate
Divorce is more than just a legal act; it’s a major life transition that raises numerous legal, financial, and family questions. Preparing and getting informed is the first step to managing the situation constructively and protecting everyone’s interests, especially those of the children.
The pillars of a well-managed divorce:
- Legal procedures: Knowing the different types of divorce (mutual consent, for irretrievable breakdown, etc.).
- Child custody: Understanding living arrangements, parental authority, and child support calculation.
- Division of assets: Knowing how the liquidation of the matrimonial property regime works for movable and immovable property.
- Financial aspects: Anticipating the costs of the procedure, child support, and reorganizing your budget.
- Life after divorce: Planning ahead and rebuilding your future on healthy and solid foundations.
This page guides you through each aspect to enable you to:
- Clarify the necessary procedures and documents.
- Anticipate questions related to the custody and well-being of your children.
- Understand the stakes of dividing your shared assets.
An informed divorce is a better-managed divorce. Take the time to understand in order to make the best decisions for your future and that of your family.
Free information for an informed decision
The Divorce Procedures: Key Steps and Processes
The choice of divorce procedure mainly depends on the degree of agreement between the spouses. Here are the main options:
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Divorce by mutual consent: The quickest and least confrontational path. The spouses agree on everything (separation, child custody, division of assets, support…). Their agreements are formalized in conventions submitted to a judge or a notary.
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Divorce for irretrievable breakdown (Belgium): When reconciliation is impossible. It can be jointly requested after 6 months of de facto separation, or unilaterally after 1 year of separation. It is not necessary to prove “fault.”
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At-fault divorce (increasingly rare): One spouse accuses the other of a serious violation of the duties and obligations of marriage. This procedure is often longer, more expensive, and more confrontational.
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Family mediation: Before or during the procedure, a neutral mediator can help the spouses find amicable agreements, which will then be validated by the court. It is an excellent alternative to de-escalate tensions.
Regardless of the procedure, the assistance of a lawyer is often mandatory or highly recommended to ensure the protection of your rights.
The Typical Course of a Divorce Procedure
Although each situation is unique, a divorce procedure generally follows these steps.
1. Consultation & Information
The first step is to consult a lawyer or a notary to understand your rights, obligations, and the most suitable procedure for your situation.
2. File Preparation
Gather all necessary documents: marriage certificate, children’s birth certificates, proof of income and expenses, property titles, etc.
3. Filing the Petition / Agreement
Your lawyer files the divorce petition with the family court. In case of mutual consent, the agreements are filed for approval.
4. Hearing & Negotiation
One or more hearings may take place to set temporary measures (custody, support…) and rule on the merits. Negotiation between lawyers continues.
5. Judgment & Transcription
The judge issues the divorce decree. Once the appeal period has passed, it must be transcribed into the civil status records to be official and enforceable against everyone.
Professionals (lawyers, notaries, mediators) support you at each step to simplify the process and defend your interests.
Child Custody: Prioritizing Well-being
The issue of children’s living arrangements is central and must always be guided by their best interests. Here are the key concepts:
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Joint parental authority: This is the basic principle. Even after the divorce, both parents continue to make important decisions together concerning the child’s health, education, and upbringing.
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Shared residency (or joint custody): The model favored by law when possible. The child resides alternately with each parent (e.g., every other week).
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Primary residency with visitation rights: If joint custody is not possible or not in the child’s best interest, the child resides primarily with one parent. The other parent has visitation and accommodation rights (e.g., every other weekend and half of the holidays).
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Child support: The parent who does not have primary custody (or in the case of very different incomes in joint custody) pays a financial contribution to participate in the child’s maintenance and education expenses. Its amount depends on each parent’s income and the child’s needs.
Agreements can be decided amicably by the parents and approved by the judge, or set by the court in case of disagreement.
Division of Assets: Liquidation of the Matrimonial Property Regime
Divorce leads to the dissolution of the matrimonial property regime and the division of assets. The method depends on the regime chosen at the time of marriage.
1. Identify the Matrimonial Property Regime
The legal regime (without a prenuptial agreement) is the community of acquests. Other options exist (separation of property, universal community). This is the starting point for any division.
2. Inventory Assets and Debts
You must list all common and separate property, as well as debts (mortgage, consumer loans…). A notary is often essential for this step, especially when real estate is involved.
3. Negotiate or Settle the Division
The ex-spouses can agree on the distribution (selling the house, one buying out the other’s share…). In case of disagreement, the court will decide, which can lead to additional costs and delays.
Anticipating this step, even if it is complex, helps to avoid many conflicts and secure the financial future of each person.
They’ve Been Through It: Towards a New Future
“The divorce period was very stressful, especially with the children. By focusing on mediation, we managed to find a fair agreement for custody and the house. Getting informed beforehand really changed everything and helped keep the dialogue open.”
“I was lost when it came to the financial aspects. My lawyer helped me see things clearly in the division of assets, and I had to take out a loan to buy out my ex-wife’s share. Anticipating this need allowed me to do it calmly and keep our house for the children.”
What comes up most often:
- The importance of information to reduce anxiety and make good decisions.
- The crucial role of professionals (lawyers, notaries, mediators) for a secure framework.
- The need to anticipate financial aspects to avoid unpleasant surprises.
A well-prepared separation is the first step towards a peaceful personal and family reconstruction.
Divorce FAQ
Find detailed answers here to the most frequently asked questions about divorce and separation. This information will help you better understand the issues to approach this stage more serenely.
In most cases, yes. For a contentious divorce (for irretrievable breakdown or at-fault), each spouse must be represented by their own lawyer. For a divorce by mutual consent, the situation varies. If you have no real estate to divide and agree on everything, it is sometimes possible to do without one (by drafting the agreements yourself), but it is extremely inadvisable. A lawyer or notary will ensure that your agreements are balanced, complete, and compliant with the law, thus avoiding future conflicts. The intervention of a notary is mandatory as soon as there is a property to be divided.
The cost of a divorce is highly variable. It depends on:
- The complexity of the case: A simple division of assets costs less than a complex liquidation with multiple properties and companies.
- The type of procedure: A divorce by mutual consent is generally much cheaper (a few thousand euros) than a contentious divorce which can last for years and cost tens of thousands of euros.
- The fees of professionals: The rates of lawyers and notaries vary.
The main costs include: lawyer’s fees, notary fees (in case of real estate), court fees, and possibly expert fees (psychological, real estate…).
Child support is not set by a single, mandatory official scale, but is determined based on several key factors:
- The income of each parent: salaries, investment and property income, benefits in kind, etc.
- The children’s expenses: There are ordinary expenses (food, housing, clothing, normal schooling) and extraordinary expenses (unreimbursed medical costs, school trips, sports activities…).
- The custody arrangement: The time the child spends with each parent.
- Family allowances: The parent who receives them is taken into account.
The parents can agree on an amount in their convention. In case of disagreement, the judge will decide based on these elements to ensure the child’s needs are met in proportion to each parent’s ability to pay.
Several solutions are possible for the common property:
- Sell the house: The ex-spouses sell the property to a third party and share the proceeds of the sale (after repaying any outstanding loan).
- One spouse buys out the other’s share: One of them buys the other’s half of the house’s value. This often requires new financing (mortgage loan).
- Remain in joint ownership: The ex-spouses remain joint owners. This is a temporary solution, often to allow the children to stay in the house for a certain time. It must be well-framed by an agreement.
- Preferential attribution: In case of disagreement, a judge may decide to award the property to one of the spouses, who must then compensate the other.
The presence of a notary is essential for all these operations.
The duration is highly variable. A divorce by mutual consent where the spouses agree on everything and the case is simple can be finalized in a few months (3 to 6 months). In contrast, a contentious divorce (for irretrievable breakdown without agreement) can take much longer, often between 1 and 3 years, or even more if the division of assets is very conflictual or if appeals are filed. The speed therefore essentially depends on the spouses’ ability to find agreements.